BOOM

Yayyy school has started.. CAN YOU FEEL THE ENTHUSIASM FROM WAY OVER THERE? Ergh. I seriously do not want to start classes again. I don't know why. I can deal with the friends everyday but the work? I don't feel like it. Maybe because I'm starting all over again with classmates and lecturers that are foreign (not to mention that 80% of them are foreigners). I want my old ones back.

It's always like that, the minute I start to fall in love with my classmates (down to the most annoying one, because you know, I'd hate not hating them), I realize that I had waited too long. I've waited til the last week of the semester to actually like them. Idiot I are.

Yesterday, I stepped on to campus grounds! SO MANY PEOPLE OH MY GOD WHERE DID THEY ALL COME FROM? Then I found out that it was the orientation day for a few, if not all the pre-u courses. But I met so many missed chickadees! Everyone was happy to see everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. Hugging Keithypu was the best and Hanisah noticing the subtle change of colour of my hair was so sweet, and ARUNA homaigosh Aruna I've not seen in ages it was so nice seeing her.

And the most epic part was asking Mr D how I got a 90% for Econs. I know, show off kan. But it's been a pretty long time since I've achieved a ninety for ANYTHING.

Mr D: Well, actually you got 88% I just bumped it up to ninety because, you know, I'm a nice guy.

Aina: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! (At this point I was so disappointed and sad!)

Mr D: Noooo I'm just kidding, what can I say, you kicked ass.

Thank God.

MAPCU TOMORROW. I'm going to miss training. But I'm not going to miss the ugly prints that have recently taken permanent residence on my thumb.

Hi

I want to study in Canada :(

Sigh

Strike three. You know what;

FUCK IT!

Can't believe this is happening, what the fuck.

Today was a good bowling day. Not score-wise, but fun-wise.

Whirlwind

I'm watching Hell's Kitchen online now. It's so addictive. Yes I love drama. But sometimes relationship drama(s) aka The Hills kind of drama gets old. I need some, drama, that isn't pointless. No bullshit man, you screw up you leave. No second chances. With relationships second chances are one way tickets to hurting more the next time things plunge down from a high cliff. Sometimes they turn out for the good, and the probability of that is probably more smaller than a bacteria's head.

I've got pictures from my birthday though, well, birthday tea+dinner.

Why do I look like a man. Hoho.

THE BEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD IS GOING TO ARRIVE SOON IN ABOUT SEVEN HOURS. YES YES YES YES YES. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!

You're my sweet sweet song

I know I need to sleep earlier.

TODAY has been such a OMGWTF APA NI APA NI APA NI day. Sigh. It hasn't been fun. But I must say, I wasn't totally affected by this OMG WTF APA NI APA NI APA NI day. I was for a bit, but then I got over it. I think I'm at a point in my life where I can honestly be brutally honest with myself by realizing what's fantasy and reality. Because in reality, I won't get half the things I fantasize for unless I know it's achievable. Like how?

Like, moving states to be with the guy I am currently head over heels for. Hello, it's never going to work because I'm still young, he's all grown up and he has a girlfriend in the same hometown. No use getting beat up over it. It would've never worked anyhow. I can never ever do long distance relationships and I said I would never ever get into a relationship until I get my degree, right? Because you know, I plan to be studying here there everywhere.

Like, being valedictorian next semester. Hello, it's absolutely possible. Everyone has a fair chance. All I've got to do is to prove that I am more worth of being one than the other candidates -not that I am one, but you know, I aspire to be. THAT is worth shutting myself in my room and crying my eyes out if I don't at least get nominated. Because every night before I fall asleep, I make up a speech in my mind. I can do this!

So you know, sometimes we just need to know when and what to give up, and when and what to give in -to emotions, that is. Because honestly, it's what makes or breaks a person. What if you wake up one morning and discover that you've wasted lots of precious time to find that you have been wallowing in self pity over something or someone that was not worth it, or wasn't even going to happen anyway? It's such a waste of time, breath and tears. You know so what if he has a girlfriend? They're not married, are they. HEHEHEHE. No lah, seriously. It's not the end of the world. And the world usually have other and much bigger plans for you.

But seriously though, if I don't even get to give my 'Vote-for-me-for-Valedictorian' speech, I'd seriously cry.

All this while

...I thought that I've been faking my injury. I mean, it hurt and all, but everytime people ask me why my fingers are wrapped with tapes, I just say "My tendons are swollen." Pfft. I'm wrong. It's my ligaments!

What is a Sprained Finger?

A sprained finger occurs when the finger is bent in some way causing damage to the ligaments which connect bones together. It is common for the ligaments at the side of the finger (collateral ligaments) to be damaged.

OooooOoOoOoooh. At least it's common!

Symptoms of a Sprained Finger:

• Pain over the joint in the finger where the damage has occurred.
• Pain when bending the finger and stressing the injured ligament.
• Possible swelling over the joint.
• Restricted mobility and movement in the finger.
• Instability in the finger if the injury is severe or a complete rupture of the ligament has occurred.

Ahaaaaaaaaa. Check, check, check, check, check not.

What Can the Sports Injury Professional Do?

• Advise on rehabilitation.
• Rest the finger and apply ice. Ice massage with a single ice cube may be suitable.
• Tape the finger to protect it while it is healing.
• Operate if required for example on a complete rupture.

Rehabilitation? Forget it. I haven't got time to make my fingers go to rehab. Check not. MASSAGE WITH ICE! Heavennn, check. Tape the finger -have always done that, check. Operate? Eee. Check not.

So yes, today was a better day of training, yesterday sucked so bad. But today, only three of us showed up. Edward Cullen on the lane next to mine and Qwer's. Yes Qwer.

"Why did you put your name as ...?"

"Qwerrrrrr..." *Hand gestures included*

"Uhuh, Qwerrrrr..."

"Because I don't like to put my name."

"So you just press random letters?"

"Yeah."

Ohh, awesome.

At least he's fun.

Anyways, this injury (or mental illness) has been around with me since I was 15 I think. I don't know if it's the ball ke apa ke but I don't intend to find out. I always have this mindset that I'm not going to bowl anymore, but I do. Haha. But when I do, it's intense for a bit, and then it plateaus and just disappears. I don't see the point of getting a new ball or drilling the ball again (because I think my fingers have either shrunk or elongated as they don't fit nicely anymore). Ball insert tapes (?) are making me happy. And the vanilla scented puff ball. HAPPY!

EMY'S COMING BACK IN 4 DAYS WEEHEEHEE!

I KNOW BUT I JUST LOVE JUSTIN BIEBER!

Hello!

Anis is fifteen today. Very old kan? I made chocolate cake from scratch. I don't like it because it ain't sweet. The rest of the people living in this house loves it, including Patchi the cat -maybe because Patchi is named Patchi, like Patchi chocolate.

And yes I know I look funny don't remind me. The sprinkles was Anis' idea. She wanted it to look like the cake in Cake Mania, this game Mummy is addicted to, where she has every version imaginable on the Nintendo DS I found on flight to Jakarta in March and on her micromini laptop! And if you were wondering, my tshirt says 2469 days since the last time I gave a shit. And mummy was the one who bought me that. WAS SHE TRYNA TELL ME SOMETHING? Oh well, I never wear it outside the perimeter of my house anyways!

I hope tomorrow's going to be a fun day. We're anticipating mani pedis, hair, the works! I hope people WORK tomorrow, seeing as on my birthday, everyone was on leave and off and whatever nonsense. I don't really care about the hair, I want my nails done real badly!

Anyways, Keith's back from Indo it was so nice talking to him -in a way. I felt tortured talking to him. Yes, it's Keith alright. I can't wait to see Mel though, I really miss my blonde moments with her. I don't know when she's coming back from Libya :'(

Oh oh, I watched this video of a three year old girl named Cody bawling her small little eyes out over Justin Bieber because she loves him. Anyhow, this is the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTCm8tdHkfI

"Why do you love Justin Bieber?"

"Because I know he loves me back!"

AWW! The end of the video is the utmost adorable thing I've ever seen in my life! She got to meet Justin Bieber in the end. And after watching that, I'm not a Bieber hater. He was so nice about the whole thing. But no dude, I do not have Bieber Fever. I have Cody fever!!

Yes I do!

Guess who's coming home next week and guess what's she bringing home to me? I CAN'T WAIT TO WEAR IT! I love love love love love love love love love love love my best friend. Times a million.

LOOK WHAT I DID

Yeah I picked everything on here!

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been tryna be lately

I do not know what's wrong with me. I don't want to layan people, I don't want to layan my phone, I don't want to layan movies, I don't want to layan the internet, I don't want to layan any drama, and I pretty much don't want to layan anything.

Can I please, take a break from everything? And can I please be selfish, and not nice for once in my life? Can I please just have a moment to waste time and not do shit? Because really, all I want to do, is cook (which is impossible because everything that I do want to cook, I don't have the ingredients so, defeats the purpose, so I go through cookbooks and watch cooking channels all the time! It's not about eating, it's about creating, so I create a sandwich everyday, now that, is LAYAN), and wait for Keith, Mel and Emy to come back! And all I want to do is go shopping. I wish I was a billionaire right now because I'm such in the mood to spend money. Yes the correct term is SPEND money not waste it. Therefore, by clothes instead of food (clothes last forever), and therefore, no ingredients for shiz.

Perhaps I'm being selfish, I am being selfish. But people around me have been selfish 90% of their time and I've always had to cater to that. Why should I? What do I get of it? It's not like they're there when I really need them. It actually surprises me the people who were indeed there the last time I really really needed them, and it's also surprising who I wanted to be there.

And I think I'm over people treating me and talking to me like a baby. I'm not a baby anymore. The only person that can treat me like one, is perhaps, my boyfriend-to-be whoever he is, and if he is indeed the one, he would know when to treat me like one and when not to. I don't need "It's okay sayang, it's going to be okay, you're my little girl, I'll always be there for you," kind of nonsense. I kind of need in MY FACE truth, with no sugar coatings whatsoever, because I figured, that's the kind of thing that makes me snap out of my dilemma.

And anyways, I'm done taking extra miles for people who won't take the extra trouble for me. Because seriously, they're not worth the trouble. And the thing is, I don't know why people are so, greedy and very, cunning? They're smart because they know the things they can say to make me do this and that for them, and do nothing for me in return. Why? I on the other hand, know who I want and need to take the extra mile for, and I'd do it. But sometimes, when I don't need someone to take the bullet for me, and they still do it, I have no control over that -and I'm sorry, I won't die for you. I never needed you to dodge the bullet for me, I wasn't the shooter's target anyhow, and most importantly -I never asked for it. That's the difference. People who ask me to go the extra mile for them and never even THINK to give anything back it return when I need the extra mile, are users. I, who have some people do things for me, without me asking, without me needing it, without me even liking it, just need a little wake up call, that I'm just not where they want me to be. And they're really fine without me you know? I don't abandon them, I don't, but you know, they're better off with someone better suited for them.

I use to think that I was conceited in behaving that way, but in a way, I am not wrong. Why bake me a chocolate cake when I hate it? Okay maybe not chocolate cake, cheesecake!

Anyways, I love wasting time on my blog, it's been awhile since I've done this.

I'm going to do some soul searching on YouTube now. G'bye! Toodleloo!